Sometimes I think life would be less difficult to deal with if you could consciously pick out the things you’re going to be stressed out over. I lose precious sleep and even productive work hours worrying over ridiculous things.
I can deal with being stressed out over things like work and bills. That is just expected. It sucks, sure, but at least I know it is coming and that it will pass. On top of worrying about the expected, I worry about the silliest things and it stresses me out to no end. Like- OK. I worry about if the guy I am currently dating at the time is going to touch my bellybutton. Yes, my bellybutton. I would lose time getting to know this guy and letting him be affectionate with me because I am terrified he will stick his finger into… it. I am full of crazy and irrational fears, but I am pretty sure the sheer horror I feel when it comes to bellybuttons takes the cake.
I am not really sure how to describe it. Surely there must be someone out there with similar feelings?
It is almost like I can feel my insides when I put my own finger in there. One wrong move and it will rip open and all of my insides will come spilling out. It also makes me nauseous. I have literally gagged myself into a frenzy from seeing someone dig their finger into their own bellybutton. I can’t let people touch mine, I can’t touch others, I can’t watch people touch their own, and I can’t watch people touch other people’s bellybuttons. NOPE. Not happening. Not in front of me at least.
Terrible, isn’t it? Truthfully, it terrifies me to the core (to the core, people!) that whoever I am dating at the time will accidentally stick a digit in there and I will react with swift karate moves. Or maybe I will scream bloody murder? I don’t know what would happen, but I am certain he will run for the hills afterwards. Unfortunately there really isn’t a tactful and classy way to tell someone that you’ll throat slam them if they so much as think about touching the portal to your insides.
What is a girl to do!?
I’ve decided to write a short story about bellybuttons in hopes that channeling my fears into the written word will help alleviate some of this terror. It probably won’t, but I don’t think there are any truly good stories about bellybuttons out there, so A for being original!
My mom tells me she feels the same way about her pinky toe, but come on mom. Pinky toe? Really?