Summer, where are you going?

Um, is it just me or is summer kind of just not wanting to stick around? One month from now James will be 6 and heading off to 1st grade. What the what? Then it’ll be Halloween, Thanksgiving…. and then… yes. It will be CHRISTMAS before we know it.

We are more than half way done with 2013. I’ll be 25 in September. And sure, I am still a baby according to some of you. But to me- I will be HALF WAY TO 50. QUARTER OF A CENTURY, Y’ALL. Seriously, what the hell? Do any of you feel like you’re just running out of time? I do. I’m a single mom, I work 40 hours a week, I am damn near stretched to the limit. I want to see stuff you guys. And not on the TV or the internet. I want to see the world with my own eyeballs. I’ll be 70 by the time it happens. I’ll be one of those old ladies in a hoveround checking out the grand canyon in a commercial.

Is there some kind of trick I don’t know about that slows time down? A home remedy? Should I light lemon scented candles and hold a séance?

I guess all I can do is just try to enjoy every moment of every day. But sometimes the moment has come and gone before I ever even knew it was here.

4 things.

1.)    I am ready for football to begin.  I know I say this every year, but I really feel like this season will be it.  The Vikings will shock and conquer and win the Super Bowl.  Look at the amazing off season we’ve had!  Filling in holes and beefing up the defense.  If our quarterback can really get his shit together, we will be BALLIN’!  I know, I know.  I am a little too positive for such a snake-bitten team.  One day, y’all.  One day.

2.)    I am going to really focus on learning a new language.  I’ve chosen Russian.  Now, before you start the Communist finger pointing, my grandparents spoke Russian.  So, I have a valid reason.  So far I have learned how to say… VODKA.  Took me a while, but I think I really am nailing it.

3.)    In almost a month, my son will be 6.  SIX.  I think we all know and understand that life is short.  Time seems to slip past you quicker and quicker as you get older.  But I am here to tell you that you do not truly know just how fast life is until you have a child.  The only word that comes to mind when I think about his birthday is bittersweet.  It is truly amazing to me that A.) I was able to keep both him and I alive for 6 whole years and B.) Within the past 6 years I have grown so much, almost as much as he has.  But- that is for another post I suppose.

4.)    Do not drink Bud Light Platinum.  It tastes like dog urine.  And before you come at me with the whole “You’ve tasted dog urine?” line, let me tell you that if I have tasted dog urine, it was last night and it came out of a blue Bud Light Platinum bottle.  This is why I drink Whiskey. 

The Bronze Horseman – Paullina Simons

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First let me start off by saying that this book is long. It took me almost two weeks to get through it. That being said, I am a single mom who works 40 hours weekly. Usually books with 500+ pages sit on my shelf unread for… like… ever. BUT, I am a Russian history addict and I am pretty certain that Russians are the best at telling heart breaking tales of love. I am really a sucker for a good love story that doesn’t follow the normal love story-telling standards.

The book starts on the day that Joseph Stalin announces to his people of the Soviet Union that the Nazi Germans have attacked Russia without any notice.

The setting: Then known as the city of Leningrad (St. Petersburg). A small communal apartment occupied by 17 year old Tatiana, her twin brother, her sister Dasha, her parents and grandparents.

The story is based around Tatiana and Alexander, a Lieutenant in the Red Army. There is an inescapable desire shared between Tatiana and Alexander from the moment they meet, but Dasha, her sister, is in love with Alexander… as they met before Tatiana met him. So there lies the problem; they love the same man, but it is Tatiana that Alexander truly loves. Tatiana won’t break her sister’s heart, and she makes Alexander promise that he won’t either. Her loyalty to her sister creates an impossible obstacle for her and Alexander. As the war gets closer to Leningrad, Tatiana’s love for Alexander grows, and so does Dasha’s. Alexander continues to be with Dasha all the while fighting to stand up for poorly treated Tatiana.

“Love is,” she repeated slowly… “when he is hungry and you feed him. Love is knowing when he is hungry.”

“I love you breathlessly, my amazing man.”

Between the cold harsh Russian winter, the war, terribly low food rations and watching idly as Alexander is forced to promise love to her sister, how can Tatiana survive? How can Alexander survive while he’s off fighting the Nazi’s wondering if his Tatiana is OK? Could either of them survive their forbidden love?

Unfortunately, I cannot tell you much more without some serious spoilage. So I really encourage you to read the book.

For such a long novel, it is pretty fast paced. It was a little repetitious and I found myself skipping over a few long-winded descriptions. However, Paullina Simons did such an excellent job on taking the reader to Leningrad. I had a very clear picture of the scenery; of the city as bombs fell all around them. The dialogue was incredibly realistic. You can almost feel the hunger and the ice cold air as you read. I felt so connected to Tatiana; I felt her pain and when Alexander spoke to Tatiana, I could hear his heartfelt voice and feel his love for her. Simons also does an awesome job letting the reader get to know the characters on just the right levels needed for the story.

It is truly a heart breaking tale of star-crossed love, loyalty and life-threatening secrets. This novel is definitely worth getting through the very few minor faults it has. 5 stars from me!

Omphalophobia

Sometimes I think life would be less difficult to deal with if you could consciously pick out the things you’re going to be stressed out over. I lose precious sleep and even productive work hours worrying over ridiculous things.

I can deal with being stressed out over things like work and bills. That is just expected. It sucks, sure, but at least I know it is coming and that it will pass. On top of worrying about the expected, I worry about the silliest things and it stresses me out to no end. Like- OK. I worry about if the guy I am currently dating at the time is going to touch my bellybutton. Yes, my bellybutton. I would lose time getting to know this guy and letting him be affectionate with me because I am terrified he will stick his finger into… it. I am full of crazy and irrational fears, but I am pretty sure the sheer horror I feel when it comes to bellybuttons takes the cake.

I am not really sure how to describe it. Surely there must be someone out there with similar feelings?

It is almost like I can feel my insides when I put my own finger in there. One wrong move and it will rip open and all of my insides will come spilling out. It also makes me nauseous. I have literally gagged myself into a frenzy from seeing someone dig their finger into their own bellybutton. I can’t let people touch mine, I can’t touch others, I can’t watch people touch their own, and I can’t watch people touch other people’s bellybuttons. NOPE. Not happening. Not in front of me at least.

Terrible, isn’t it? Truthfully, it terrifies me to the core (to the core, people!) that whoever I am dating at the time will accidentally stick a digit in there and I will react with swift karate moves. Or maybe I will scream bloody murder? I don’t know what would happen, but I am certain he will run for the hills afterwards. Unfortunately there really isn’t a tactful and classy way to tell someone that you’ll throat slam them if they so much as think about touching the portal to your insides.

What is a girl to do!?

I’ve decided to write a short story about bellybuttons in hopes that channeling my fears into the written word will help alleviate some of this terror. It probably won’t, but I don’t think there are any truly good stories about bellybuttons out there, so A for being original!

My mom tells me she feels the same way about her pinky toe, but come on mom. Pinky toe? Really?

What do you normally write in the first post of a blog? Probably nothing important since no one will actually read it.

Unless of course I die a famous woman and people scour the internet to find every fact about the most interesting female to ever live.

In which case I will tell you that my favorite color is green, I am an avid reader, I know more about football than most men, and whiskey is delicious.

How do you normally end a first blog post? ….Um…. Well… Bye.